Comparison is still stealing my joy..

For as many posts as I have about how amazing and wonderful Crossfit is, I feel I am starting to add just as many about some adverse effects, like injuries and demotivation.

Either way, I still think Crossfit is the best thing ever. I even was published on TabataTimes yesterday for a short random musings post on my thoughts on how Crossfit pretty much consumes your life. And I wouldn’t want it any other way.

I wrote last week about getting caught up in the comparison game, but what is even worse is when you start to compare yourself to the expectations of yourself. Truly a recipe for disaster!

Wednesday is my typical rest day, but I was physically feeling great and when I saw the WOD was Clean and Jerks (my favorite next to deadlifts), it made more sense to go to the box to clean than to sit around at home and clean (ha..). We started with 5 x 250m rows, 85′ in the gym, and about 90% humidity. From there, we did our strength/skill portion of the workout, with squat clean progressions. These drills are great and we tend to do these progression drills anytime we are working on the Olympic lifts, but I could tell even lifting the 35# bar, my body was already feeling exhausted..

Our WOD was 15 rounds, EMOM (every minute on the minute) of one squat clean, one hang clean, and one push jerk. Based on the numbers the girls in the prior class were pulling (why doesn’t this matter?!), I wanted to end at 95#.

source

I started with a comfortable 55# for the first two rounds, with a goal to increase weight every two rounds. Easy. Tacked on two more 10s for the next three rounds, and it was tough, but doable. We rarely do hang cleans and my form needed a bit of work, but I got the weight up. I watched my WOD buddy continue to add weight to her bar round after round, far surpassing the weights on my bar. I repeated 85# a few times, but only made it to hang clean it once. Every minute, on the minute, I squat cleaned, and went for the hang. And hung.

I could not get under the bar.

I could not get my elbows up.

I could not hang-clean a weight that I am more than capable of cleaning.

I got upset, frustrated, and angry.

Then I started making excuses. It was too hot. My body isn’t used to WOD classes three days in a row. My hand hurt too much from ripping it on Monday. I didn’t eat my spaghetti squash with lunch. I only drank 128oz of water instead of 133oz. I ate meat and eggs for my 4th meal instead of eggs and half a banana. I didn’t take any pre-workout.

You have all seen those “motivational” posters.

badly*

Um, yes, I wanted to hang clean 85# more than once. And yeah, I wanted pretty badly to surpass 85#.  But no matter how badly I wanted it, my body was just not having it.

One of my favorite blogger buddies, Renee‘, reminded me of a great quote: “I really regret that workout…said NO ONE ever!” Truth. Despite being upset at myself for not being able to get that jump shrug and lift that weight to my shoulders, I would have been more upset had I not even gone into the gym that day.

I also loved something that Tamara mentioned, in reference to her yoga practices, about everyday coming to the mat anew. The box should be the same; each day is a new day, new circumstances, so just work your butt off to be the best you can be in the moment.

Need my address? My birthday is coming up.. 😉

Today as I was logging last night’s workout on Fitocracy I realized I had never hang-cleaned more than 80#. So yesterday’s upsetting, frustrating, hang clean was a PR. It was not the number I wanted, nor the number that this girl or that girl got. But it was a personal PR.

Even on days I feel like I’ve had a “bad” workout, my body continues to do things that it has never done before. I am become a better “me” everytime I step foot into the box. I’ll end this with an amazing quote I read this morning that perfectly sums up the attitude I need to have..

“Thanks HQ for programming all my weaknesses every year. I will overcome … one day I will have no weakness.”

-Jen Osborn, 22nd place in the Central East.

Your turn..

Have you ever said, “I really regret that workout…”?
Do you prefer to clean house or clean the barbell?
Do you workout in an air-conditioned gym?