Black Friday – Why I am donating instead of buying

For the first year ever I am sitting out on Black Friday. And instead of loading up my shopping bags and emptying my wallet, I am loading up boxes of things to donate.

I have always been a spender. A self-sufficient shopaholic, comfortably working two jobs for the bulk of my adult life to support such habits. I was a bargain shopper and worked hard for my paychecks so why not fill my closet and house with things? Not big-ticket things; just things.

Fast forward a few years and I discovered the art of coupon clipping. Borderline extreme coupon clipping – I had the coupon binder and all and would plan my shopping trips on Sunday matching up sales papers and coupons.. I wouldn’t keep everything I bought, but definitely kept more than what I needed.

If it didn’t have a coupon, I didn’t buy it.

And I would buy things because they had a coupon, not because I needed them. (Oh, Kohls.. major weakness..)

An ex had told me once that time was more valuable than money. I really never understood it.

Why pay $4 for body wash today when I can buy you two for that price if you wait for a sale? Despite buying things when there was only a need, he lived quite frugally, but was able to treat himself when he wanted on things that mattered more. The logic and simplicity of it did not register with me. I NEEDED to buy that brand of shampoo I never use because it was going to be $1 this week, and I NEEDED to buy that weird patterned blouse because it was marked down to $20 from $50. And I had a coupon on top of that.

I never understood either how that same person was able to box up his belongings and move out in one day. If I ever had to move, it would probably take me a month. Nine years of accumulated stuff.

When I recently told another minimalist that I envied his simple one-bedroom apartment lifestyle with no clutter, he brought up that we hold onto things for sentimental value, and to keep things simple we need to detach feelings from those items. What sort of feelings do I have for clothes, toiletries, and clutter? I am certain women have a harder time with this than men, but recently the thought if downsizing from my old house into somewhere small and simple sounds better and better everyday.

I emptied my linen closet yesterday: 23 razors, 37 toothbrushes, 18 bottles of shampoo/conditioner plus 14 miscellaneous hair products, 16 deodorants, and a myriad of body products and makeup. That was a portion of what I threw into a box to donate; there was a little more that I kept (like the ridiculous amount of Charmin..).

I went through my kitchen cupboards and boxed up pots without lids and lids without pans. I threw in dishes never used and cups collecting dust (recently made a switch to mason jars for drinking!).

I went through my closets (one-person household; four closets and a hanging rack in the basement) and drawers and packed up cardigans I have she-hulked my way out of, shirts I haven’t worn in a year, coats that have gone years without use, and shoes collecting dust.

I still have plenty of things. But that’s what they are- just things.

The me of the past thinks that you need to have so many things to validate your success, to confirm your happiness. I am not so sure I feel that way anymore. There’s some test somewhere about if your house was on fire, what five things would you grab, which can tell what truly is important to a person. All of the things I have been boxing up? None of them would be worth it to save. All of them are replaceable, and all just so insignificant.

I have no plans to consolidate all of my belongings into one box and never buy anything nice for myself, but it has just been so much easier this year to sit at home and pass on all of the chaos and appreciate what I have. I am thankful for the things that I do have and thankful for being able to accumulate so much to donate.

I look at my shopping habits quite differently now. Ironically, I probably spend more money now than I ever had been (between Crossfit, food, and other natural products) but those things mean more to me than having a lifetime supply of stuff I will never use. My only Black Friday splurge was on more Crossfit classes, an intangible investment that I value much more than filling my closet up with clothes that I will wear for one season.

My mindset has changed to focus on assets and investments, rather than things and stuff. (And yes, I could totally justify a new jump rope or Nanos as an investment..). Items that have value and a useful life beyond their initial use. Or things that are going to help me reach my goals or to make me a better person. It is definitely a different perspective to look at your purchases this way.

Oh.. and my 5 things I’d save from a fire would be my dog, my baby blankie, iPhone, gym bag (hope I can count this as one item!), and my purse.