Maybe because I am not feeling as “aesthetically fit” as I was a month or two ago, I am becoming a bit more judgmental on how women are choosing to boast progress in their fitness. While I’m usually the last person to have haters, I posted a comment in a female-focused lifting group on Facebook yesterday that caused a bit of an uproar.
I attribute my intro to lifting to New Rules of Lifting for Women, and can talk all day long about how the program boosted my confidence and made me see changes inside and out. For those unfamiliar, NROLFW is directed to women, but to workout doing the same movements that men do: “Lift like a man, look like a goddess” with compound movements like deadlifts and squats. Even though I have found my true love in Crossfit, I frequent the NROLFW forum to help give advice to other women or to share my experiences with the program. Everyone there is usually so supportive of each other and with a very diverse group of women, it’s great to share stories, brag about accomplishments, and post progress.
But one thing I noticed on that page and even in other progress pictures with fitties across the web, is that women tend to show progress by first showing their midriff and after seeing the trend continue, I vented a bit of my thoughts on the page.
I love all you ladies and even though I am guilty of this myself, I want to just comment that having abs is so not the point of this program, nor should it be the focus of doing this program..
It’s like when women want to show their progress, the first thing do is lift up their shirts.. Again, I know I have done this in the past, too, but please realize that there is SO MUCH MORE than what your belly looks like!
How has the weight of your deadlift gone up? How much lower are you getting on your squat? Can you do a pull-up yet?
I mean it’s awesome to lose weight (if that’s the goal), and dang impressive if you’re popping out abs, but I think sometimes we tend to lose focus on what the real end goal is of a lot of the strength training programs..
/end rant
The post ended up with almost 100 comments, a member being removed from the group, and one of our administrators being temporarily banned from Facebook for trying to facilitate the discussion. When I posted my rant, the intent was to dispel a misconception that progress is primarily displayed in your stomach; that in order to prove success, you must have noticeable changes in your abs. Why do women feel this way?
I can guarantee just about every woman who is posting progress pics has a similar picture.
I’ve posted an ab shot on Instagram. I’ve posted a bathing suit pic on Twitter. Why? Because I think we are driven by the fitness community to use this as a significant measure. Like, “Hey look at me! You should look up to me because I have some definition popping out up in here.” That, coupled with me being freaking proud of how I looked, too. I mean really, I think there are no women that put in the work that would say it would suck to have abs.
Further, I cannot tell you how many pics I have of me standing in the bathroom mirror in a sports bra and shorts taking pics of my abs. Does anyone else do this? It’s a bad habit. Stop it.
Guess which picture I am my strongest.
Yes, the most recent. So putting aesthetics aside, more recently I have been following Eat to Perform. I started increasing mileage with my half marathon training, and trying to balance four runs a week and Crossfit, a girl needs to eat. A lot. Like 2700-3000 calories-lot.
So alas, I do not have a six-pack. Heck, I may be being generous to say I have a two-pack these days. But I am feeling so much stronger. In the past week, I PRed my 1×5 deadlift at 200#; I ran my fastest pace for a 3 mile run, first time hitting under a 10:00/mile consistent pace. I am running further and faster than ever before. And my belly is much softer and squishier than it was two months ago. There is no tightness in the hips or stomach. I feel a bit uncomfortable physically compared to where I was not too long ago. But am I regressing? Am I getting weaker? Absolutely not.
I wish more women would see that their successes can be measured by so much more than flashing your bellybutton. If you want to use this to equate with progress or success, great. Abs are not easy to come by and I have major admiration and respect for those who work hard enough to get there.
But for the rest of us, celebrate the other PRs. Relish in your increased in strength and speed and gains. Be comfortable in your body however it is and know there is more to your progress than your pooch.
Your turn..
Do you see having abs a measure of success in the fitness industry?
What is your biggest progress made lately? Physically? Strength-wise? Running?
Would you sacrifice looking a certain way to be stronger or faster?
Twitter: bethanyjolee
October 8, 2013 at 3:04 pm
Jen!
So right on!
Just this morning I was thinking–I’m freaking 38 years old–will I ever get over wanting to have a perfect body? I’m so sick of it I could puke sometimes. I don’t think about it all the time, I just go through cycles where I think of it more often than not. But yeah–progress is in how strong and fit we are!! Yeah, it’s important to feel good in our bodies and that equates, oftentimes, to looking good, but I think you have taken your fitness journey to a very deep level where not many people go–you have gone beyond the body. That’s what makes it less important to you now because you have “been there (six-pack)” and your current physical activity demands more than that and so you went after it, denying the urge to want to look the American-media -picture of perfect. YOU ROCK LADY!!! I want that too!
And just so you know, you STILL look great. 😉
Bethany Lee recently posted..Beginning to Understand Weight Loss
I totally have descent abs, if I pull down my I’ve had 3 kids extra skin. But I measure myself in what I can do, that yesterday I could not.
UGH. Being a Crossfit girl compared to just a girl looking to get fit and skinny makes this even more frustrating. I think this article says it best and most simply though (of course it does because ETP is amazing).
http://eattoperform.com/2013/03/01/why-athletes-shouldnt-aspire-to-be-shredded/
The days that I wake up and can see my abs and the devil’s horns on my hips are the days I’m probably either dehydrated from drinking or I was too tired from a wod to make dinner the night before. When I achieved my lowest weight at 118 in my fitness journey, I had a total 6 pack, but could I clean and jerk my body weight, deadlift 100# over it or do multiple strict pull ups? No way.
I don’t WANT to do fitness competitions. I don’t WANT to be a bikini model. I don’t CARE what the number on my scale says. I WANT to lift heavy stuff. I WANT to be able to 3 wods in a day at a competition and still be fresh on the 3rd one. I CARE about how my body performs. And that requires a little more meat on my bones.
Twitter: Mychickenbutt
October 8, 2013 at 3:11 pm
It is really funny how the tables have turned for us over the duration of our blogging journeys! You know I used to be so selfie-centric, abs obsessed, pictures in the mirror constantly… I look back on that and am kind of grossed out by my behavior.
Way to go causing a stir. We need more of that 🙂
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Twitter: fantabulouslisa
October 8, 2013 at 3:14 pm
I got to hang out with Camille Leblanc-Bazient this weekend and we actually had a conversation about strong women. She has a word for it–she says that she has been seeing more and more crossfitters becoming “Fit-orexic” and just wanting to be lean and ripped and hardly capable of anything besides looking good. She said women come up to her all the time and ask how to get stronger and how to look like her and she always says “eat more and lift more.” 🙂 I want to be THAT woman. Not the one eating a salad.
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Good for you Jennifer! I completely agree that I’d rather measure my progress in strength than in inches, pounds, or how many abs you can see. 🙂
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I swear we think the same!!! I have noticed the same thing about myself. When I had pretty much a 6 pack was when I was following The New Rule of Lifting for Women. This was way before I started Crossfit. Now, I do not have a 6 pack, but I just PR’d my Clean this weekend, Hit 14 sets of 5 TTB last night unbroken and can finally do handstands without the wall! I definitely eat to perform. And us Crossfit girls are more interested in our performance and strength, then just how we look in the mirror. Hitting that PR is way more worth it!!!
Sarah recently posted..Back from Vegas and ready to Crossfit
Love this. To be able to excel in crossfit you need to gain muscle and eat and probably weigh more. I look at all the crossfit prof. ladies and they are strong and none of them are skinny or tiny!
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Twitter: inmyheadspace
October 8, 2013 at 3:38 pm
You are spot on here Jen! I have been finding myself getting bored with some fitness related groups I follow on Instagram and FB because of all the before and after pictures of girls with tight little figures. I would rather see a picture of your run time or what your WO consisted of. Not everyone has the ability to get that perfect 6 pack. I doubt I ever will and that’s ok. I am not saying those girls/women did not work hard for it but I am not there mentally anymore. Maybe I am getting old but I want to feel strong- be strong. If abs are a result, great! But I am not going to measure my progress just by what 1/3 of my body looks like. I love how my legs feel beastly when I am climbing a mountain. I love knowing that I can pull myself up over boulders to get up those mountains. You bringing this up was a good thing Jen. I think you gave the haters something to think about her chickie :0)
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After having 4 kids, I have the battle scars of motherhood and probably will never show off my abs. Don’t get me wrong I love my battle scars, and extra skin cause it is a part of me, but if all about the abs then I guess I can say I don’t have great ones. Yet I can run 26.2 miles, sprint, lift, and still believe I am stronger than some of you ladies that have perfect abs…
Twitter: fatgirlhealthy
October 8, 2013 at 4:08 pm
Great post! I’ve been struggling a lot lately with this kind of crap on the internet. I’ve lost 60 pounds and still have plenty I need to lose. I’ve never posted any comparison pics on my blog. I’ve started writing a post about it months ago. I want it to be about health. I wish our society would understand what our means too be healthy. Its lost on so many people. It has nothing to do with how we look. Sigh. Anyway, I’m going of to lift heavy shit. : )
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I love this post because I am stuck on using my stomach and how flat or toned it looks to define my self worth. I often “check” my stomach in mirrors and examine it at every little angle. If I find one little flaw, I’m upset with myself and feel worthless. But if I increase my weights for a muscle group, I barely get any pride from that. It’s like none of my accomplishments matter if my stomach doesn’t look perfect. I’m trying to escape that mindset, but it’s really hard to do.
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my arms look better than my push jerk PR would say. My hips & ass look worse than how fast I can run a 5k. I have great core from a lifetime of dance…these all facilitate me in CrossFit (tho some days I doubt it ) but it oesnt mean I can do grace or fran faster than someone who’s metabolism or body mechanics dont show it…conversely, there are girls that weigh more/have more body fat than me…do they back squat & DL more than me? you bet they do, does it frustrate me? tadbit, but it also motivates me…btw, I think i looked better in my abs earlier this summer too…havent really slacked off on training or slide off the paleo diet…but i think i’m in it for strength now. You rock, dont let your abs define you:)
Amen.
Best compliment I have received in a long time? After my WOD last night, my coach said he could finally see the muscles in my upper/mid back working to pull my scaps together (rehabbing a shoulder injury). Muscles are hot 🙂
haha wow you caused quite the stir!! It’s kind of crazy that a comment like that would get negative backlash…you can see what certain communities focus on!
I personally have decided to not post ab pictures..but sometimes I really want to in order to show people “look, I eat real, normal food and dessert and am not obsessed with calories and this is how I look!” I might have to fight the urge even more when I get my personal training certification!!
While it’s good to be proud of your body, especially if you’re working hard, I know these pictures can be triggering to those with eating disorders, etc. I will honestly unfollow gals on Instagram who post ab pictures too often since I start to feel bad about myself!
Basically, I understand both sides (posting pics vs not posting them), but I’m glad you commented on that forum to remind ladies…it’s okay to have body fat!! It’s pretty darn useful to survival!!
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YOU ROCK.
I love this. I’ve caused a stir before, over something I felt strongly about And sometimes it can make you feel really bad to make others all in a tizzy (I’m a people pleaser, so I definitely feel like that!) but sometimes you really have to stand up for your convictions and what’s right- and you are DEFINITELY right in this case. This kind of stuff needs to be said. It’s so normal for women to compare themselves to each other physically and shut down people that are aiming to promote a positive body image based on athletic skill instead of merely what we look like. It’s crazy that it’s such a radical concept!
I used to have “better” abs at a certain point, as well as 20 lbs. lighter and nearly anorexic. But I was also a lot weaker, physically AND mentally. Strength and empowerment is so much more important!
Thanks for spreading the word.
It’s interesting how many people completely missed the point of your post. It’s one thing to miss the point, but it’s even worse when they miss the point and are all angry and offended by it. I just couldn’t believe it… you never said “we should have a new rule” or anything like that, or “you should not post these pictures” it was more like- hey, I don’t really find abs a useful/interesting measure of progress anymore.
Your post made me realize my own issues with these kinds of posts. I feel like this hyper self examination of how our bodies look has been negative for me, because I used to not really worry about what I look like and now I find myself examining my waistline in the mirror all the time, and looking for muscles and getting annoyed when I don’t like what I see. Which is weird, because I don’t actually care to change my appearance- I’d like my clothes to fit better, I don’t want to get fatter, but I’m not obsessed about what I look like. And when I raised that issue I felt like the common interpretation was that I must be insecure because I don’t look as good as the people posting photos. But that was missing the point too. I actually know that I’m gorgeous, and this whole looks-obsession is some kind of nervous anxiety disease that I’d rather not catch from all the ladies in the fitness community, thank you very much. But I feel like if I had posted that I would have been lynched for being above aesthetics, and implying that everyone who is into it is shallow at best and disordered at worst.
I don’t mean I’m above aesthetics.. I mean I’m not obsessed with my own image. Yes, of course I CARE what I look like, and pick flattering clothes and all that, but I really do think it is sickness to take all these pictures and look in the mirror all the time. And I know that some people will be offended by that statement. I’m sorry.
Twitter: Inkdgirl55
October 8, 2013 at 8:42 pm
Abs ??? Ain’t nobody got time for that!!
Lol , I haven’t seen my abs since kindergarten and by no means determine my physical fitness level to them. I am NOT a bikini model , figure competitor or swimsuit model .. What I am is strong, tough and not a quitter! You are , and have always been, someone is look up to physically ! I never once thought ” I wonder if Jen has a six pack”? I always thought of you as the girl who kept going, hitting those PR’s! Screw the mirror selfies and focus on strength and endurance ladies, fit matters , not sexy abs!
Dawn recently posted..Some people Suck!
Right on! My mid section is definitely where I’ve been having the hardest time with my weight loss and fitness. I am gaining muscle everywhere else and although I’m happy with that of course, I feel like I’m not making progress fast enough and you’re right; it seems like our bellies are where our focus is. It’s refreshing to hear otherwise because I am at the strongest I’ve ever been now, but def. not the skinniest!
Jessie Emeric recently posted..What is Paleo Anyways…
You do not have to have a 6 pack to be fit! I think that you look great just the way that you are. I know that no matter how hard I work, I will probably never have a 6 pack. For a long time that bothered me, but then I just let it go. I am strong and I am fit and healthy. That is all that really matters. I know lots of women that do crossfit that are even stronger than me and sometimes I think that a couple of them look pregnant when they aren’t.
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Twitter: busybodblog
October 9, 2013 at 5:37 am
I extra love this. Because here is the thing: even if you are concerned about aesthetics (no judgment), its easier for some people to get abs than others. It’s based on your genetic make-up. This is something I didn’t learn until recently. I used to whine to my hubby (who is in sports medicine) about how no matter how lean I got, my abs wouldn’t pop out like other peoples, and he broke the cold hard truth to me that they probably never will. However, the muscles on my arms and legs pop like crazy, even when I’m not in particularly good shape, and I was able to significantly change them with very little work. I have friends with six packs (cue whining jealousy) who can’t get their legs to lean down they want (and are jealous of me). And as you said, I’m stronger than some of them. So not only is there more to life than how your abs look, depending on your body type, even if you are working as hard as someone with six pack abs, it still might not show.
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Twitter: courtnorm
October 9, 2013 at 11:21 am
THIS. I love it. It is not about how you look. I get judged A LOT by people because of my size. They have no idea what I’m capable of. And they don’t need to. I want to be strong for me. Love you!
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I love this post! It is so true. Women show results by lifting up their shirts because they don’t really feel confident until others confirm that they look good. They wouldn’t get the same confirmation by listing numbers on instagram or twitter.
I’m actually not the biggest fan of showing my abs haha. I did one little shoot more to prove that you didn’t need cardio to be lean but after that haven’t really bothered to lift my shirt for photos.
I will however take pictures of me doing gnarly moves…Love to be able to brag that way.
But then again…I’m also way more concerned about getting massive legs than having six pack abs…haha
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This is a great post! I’ve been a big critic of the abs-centric way we’ve been defining fitness, simply because I feel like it’s a really difficult, time- and energy-consuming thing to accomplish that ultimately means nothing besides that you have some visible abs. I’d rather just eat the food and lift the weights and do my running and triathlon training and let my body unfold however it is going to unfold.
I guess this is why I will never, ever post photos that focus on my abs. I’ll post my Garmin display or maybe a race photo, but my abs? Who gives an eff?
Caitlin recently posted..My husband was heckled for running behind me at a race
I think you missed the mark here, majorly. Telling anyone that the point or reason for lifting isn’t an aesthetic invalidates them. If you don’t have their full story, why would you ever invalidate one of (hopefully many of) their milestones in their fitness journey? As long as they are doing so in a healthy manner, aesthetics is a large reason for for many to work out, and at the very least, a perfectly valid achievement even if it is not the main goal. Don’t harsh their squee.
Now, my lifting journey is taking me into powerlifting, and my focus is most definitely not aesthetics. But I still celebrate and brag about the aesthetics I have gained by lifting, mine just happen to be my arm, trap, glut, and quad development. To me, they showcase my hard work and the beauty and strength lifting has given me, and maybe (most likely) other’s ab pics showcase their hard work and new found strengths. I also celebrate every single PR I achieve. But I will not invalidate someone else’s milestone because it does not fit with my PERSONAL perspective.
Twitter: mast2mar
October 9, 2013 at 10:34 pm
Throughout my life as an athlete, I have NEVER had a 6pack in my life. I have a pretty flat stomach, but thats about all I can claim lol.
Anyway, I think it is totally appropriate to point out that 6packs dont equal fitness. The actual muscle that make the 6pack is a small band of down the front of your stomach. Your obliques are WAY more important since they are the ‘girdle’ around your waist (going from stomach to back) as well as the muscle that is the lower band above pelvis. Those are the areas I focus on as ‘core’ work, not the 6pack muscle….
Being more active and eating well I have noticed that I have leaned out in the stomach ever so slightly, but mostly I’m proud of my butt (if I had to pick a body part to be proud of, glutes are important regardless) and performance in my races I am most proud of above all else. Plus if you take into account body composition (sort of, mostly for muscle mass), blood analysis, RHR, VO2 Max etc… THOSE are all measures of fitness. I’m surprised that comment made such an uproar….goes to show some people are all about image!
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Girl….I am so guilty of this. I base too much on how I look vs. how I feel. I am super strong – PR deadlift is 235#, I did Grace RX in 3:35, but I have a soft middle and am no where near having “abs”. Sadly, that bothers me too much. I care too much what the scale says and what I “look” like instead of being damn proud of how strong I am. Thanks for this post – I needed the reality check!
3:35 Grace?! AMAZING!!! I don’t even think I could do it that quickly with the bar! 😉 Mine’s over 9:00..
I guess it depends where your priorities are.. Right now I think maybe cause it’s getting cooler temps, I’m less concerned about the physical part.. and just want to be super strong! 😉 Eventually I would assume the aesthetic part will just happen.. but for now, I’d rather be putting up huge numbers and fast WODs!
I found this post through GirlsGoneWod, and boy did I need it. I am getting softer around my middle and literally every morning I wake up and lift up my shirt and sigh in disgust that i’ve “let myself go” and yet i am making giant strides in Crossfit. I finally got a kipping pull up and I just backsquatted (is that a word?) my body weight! I need to remember that 6 packs don’t define my fitness ability.
Thank you!
I think this just has to be an individual thing. My abs look like yours and I’m very happy with my body. A six-pack will never be a big priority for me because I just don’t have the motivation to starve myself.
I go through cycles of focusing on different areas – aesthetics, performance, strength. But aesthetics are what motivate most people. If that’s what makes them GO, then more power to them.
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