Is it the weight on the bar? Or the number in your head?

I’ve mentioned time and time again that I am an emotional person, and when it comes to Crossfit and lifting, there is  no exception. I have been focusing on trusting the programming at my box and looking at each workout individually rather than putting an emphasis on how heavy I am lifting today compared to yesterday.

But then this week, we had an opportunity to test our 1RMs on both clean and jerk and snatch, so I was faced with an opportunity for a true comparison of how I have been progressing.

Lately, C&J and me have a pretty happy relationship. I PRed this lift at the Crossfit Games Open last year at 95# and while it has been a slow and steady journey, 95# remained my “nemesis weight” for quite some time. If I looked at the bar and saw the green plates (25#s), something would just trigger in my mind that this is too heavy and then I would proceed to attempt a clean, then perform a solid deadlift. It wasn’t until I started working more on my squat clean that I became quite comfortable with lifting 95#, and lately have been holding a consistent max of 115#.

Monday I was unable to jerk it, but I squat-cleaned 120#. And felt pretty awesome.

If you ask anyone who knows their stuff about Olympic lifting, they will tell you that the squat clean and the squat snatch are more effective movements than power cleaning or power snatching; ideally you should be able to lift heavier this way.

That is, unless you are scared of the bar.

Knowing that we were testing our max snatch, I was trying to strategize and come up with a realistic expectation for what weight I wanted to reach. I had been stuck at my snatch “nemesis weight” forever at 75#, so knew if I was able to add even 5# I would be more than happy. But even though my power snatch was at 75#, my squat snatch trailed behind at 65#, where it should be the opposite! I know I am physically capable of overhead squatting 95#, as I did it at a competition over the fall. Out of curiosity, I googled what the ratio should be between overhead squat and squat snatch to try to get some insight.

While I didn’t find exactly what I initially searched for, I stumbled across this article from Breaking Muscle, and truer words could not have been spoken. The beginning of the article wasn’t as relevant to what I needed to hear, but towards the end it got to the meat of what my issue is, about how weightlifting is,

a mental sport first, and a physical sport second. If you have the ability to snatch a light weight with perfect (or near perfect) form, then you have the technical ability to snatch a heavy weight with perfect form. The trouble is you won’t. And the reason you won’t is because heavy weights scare you and light weights don’t. (read the rest here)

I strongly urge you to continue to read the rest of the article if you have ever missed a lift because you were scared.

I am fully aware that my problem is that I am scared of the bar.

Just the thought of “getting under” the bar, especially in a snatch-grip, is terrifying. Why? Why is it that I can power snatch 75#, I can overhead squat 75#, yet I cannot put the two together? I know what to do. I can execute the movement effortlessly with lighter weights, but then it gets mental as soon as I consciously think about the number of the weights on the bar.

With ten minutes to establish my max, I loaded a comfortable weight of 55# on the bar. Power snatched, then squat snatched. I added 10#, which would match my squat snatch max of 65#. I power snatched (just because it comes easier to me), and then squat snatched. It felt good.

Onto match my power snatch PR of 75#, a weight I have done only a few times prior, yet never squat snatched. And then I did it. And it felt good. I quickly added 2 1/2# to each side and attempted to beat my current PR. And DONE! I had now established a PR for both my power snatch and squat snatch, breaking a plateau that I have been at for quite a while.

I took a minute or two to rest, happy that I PRed, but still had time to attempt a bit more. I loaded 85# on the bar and stared at it for quite some time. My Coach looked at me, waiting for me to perform my lift. Knowing that I had never snatched this weight and thinking about how heavy it was, I told her “I’m scared.” Coach Lynn told me there is nothing to be scared of because worst case scenario, I bail the squat. Or I power snatch it and then overhead squat it. No big deal. And then, all of a sudden, it wasn’t a big deal. I didn’t think about it.

I just did it.

I PRed my squat snatch by twenty pounds.

Based on the ease of the lift, she told me,”That’s a PR? You got a lot more in you!”

Ego boosted, I added another 10# (why 10# and not 5#? Cause, ego.).. then realized that’s the prescribed Isabel weight (30 snatches for time), an RX workout that I only can dream about. And then, realized I was about to attempt a snatch that was pretty close to my max jerk weight. I grabbed the bar, took a deep breath.. and.. deadlift.

Okay. Rest, breathe, omg this is 95lbs, high pull. Nope.

I let the number scare me.

The moment that you let the number scare you is the moment that you will repeatedly fail that lift. Over and over.

While I would have been more than happy with 80#, now that the squat snatch has clicked and I felt comfortable doing it, I want that 95#. I think I am close, but I know it is the mental barrier that is keeping me from hitting it!

I am back to being excited everyday going to Crossfit and pushing my body to new limits. I am finally starting to find a comfortable balance with the weights that I am lifting and when I let the body do the work and focus on thinking about the parts to the movement instead of the weight on the bar, it has made so many things become much more effortless.

Your turn..
Do you have a nemesis weight?
Are you ever scared of the bar?
How have you overcome being scared to perform a movement or lift?